Have you ever wondered where your beliefs have come from or thought about the impact they have on your day-to-day life? It's said that we see the world not as it is but as we believe it to be. Our views develop over time based on our individual experiences - what we have seen, heard, done, been told and what we have read so they are unique for each one of us.
I've read that a detective gets suspicious if two witnesses have exactly the same recollection of what happened at a crime scene. He would expect the evidence to be slightly different because of the individual's view of the world and if they were the same, he might suspect collusion between the witnesses.
Our beliefs and our interpretation of events can affect how we feel, think and act - and can have a dramatic impact on what we achieve in life.
Let me explain what I mean by our interpretation of events. Have you ever heard your family talking about something that happened in your childhood and it is nothing like how you remembered it? It has certainly happened to me many times and I often wonder if I grew up in the same house as my siblings as our memories of childhood are so different. Let me share the "boiled bacon" story from my family.
I do not recall any specific incidents but have a general recollection of my parents being out working, leaving me to look after my younger siblings. I remember them mucking around while I was trying to get dinner finished so that I could wash up and get on with my homework. My younger sister likes to embarrass me by telling the story about me force-feeding her boiled bacon. It is an amusing tale for others, with me literally shoving food down her throat but it's not one I can relate too or remember. We were both there but have totally different memories that give a different slant and meaning to the events of our childhood. Those memories have no doubt shaped our beliefs and values in adult life - but which one is a true reflection of what actually happened?
Primo Michele Levi, an Italian Jewish writer, who spent a year as a prisoner in the Auschwitz concentration camp said that the human memory was marvellous but a "fallacious instrument" i.e. it lies to us! He wrote that our memories are not carved in stone; they are erased and changed as years go by and we add to our memories as we go along. Not surprising then that we often have different memories of historic events.
So my memories of being hard done by being left to babysit my siblings and my sister's memory of being force-fed are probably both false having been changed and added too over the last forty years. If we allow them too, these false memories could colour our values and beliefs and influence how we behave as adults. We need to take time to listen to our thoughts about the past and to question whether it was really like that - and if we can't be sure, to let the memories fade away.
Are you letting false memories influence your beliefs or values? Maybe its time to let them go and make sure they don't affect your current happiness or relationships.
This article is brought to you by MATCHMAKING.
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